![]() ![]() Okay, this is the review for Panzer Dragoon, an OVA adapded from a videogame with the same name. What's worse than a piece of crap? One whole shit, which is what this is. Well, unfortunately, I am the only one that survived. "Kyle, for this tale to be told, one of us must survive" This one didn't get the Sega Seal of Quality. I don't know if this was a cheap cash grab or what, but it's definitely part of the reason SEGA keeps digging Sonic of out of his shallow grave to parade his corpse around for some more money. If I had to rate this on a scale of "I'd rather tear out my brainstem, carry it to the middle of the nearest 4 way intersection and skip rope with it" to "Mars of Destruction", I think I'd choose having a pound of boiling hot meth injected into each of my eyeballs, being run over by a dump truck, chopped up into pieces, fed to myself, then have my head put in a vise, and be shot into space and suffer explosive decompression than have to experience this again. ![]() If it wasn't directly pulled from a fantasy themed mad-libs book, I'll be shocked. You can hear crap in the background and the "voice actors" scratching their heads at how preposterously moronic the script was. I think they literally called the first 5 english speakers the animation studio could think up off the top of their head and had them do their lines on the spot. The sound in this turd is the utter definition of phoned in. ![]() It looks 90s, and it's every bit as abhorrent as a no budget drivel anime should be. do have to give them a score of "decent" (and that's generous) for the art. There is no story anywhere nearby to be rated. Yeah, that's right, the same ones responsible for, you know, the insignificant Ghost in the Shell series or maybe the slightly obscure Attack on Titan? I can't believe my eyes. Ladies and Gentlemen, I kid you not, this odious dumpster juice smoothie of an anime was made by a company you might have heard of. The incredible high must have been euphoric. What it must have been like to be in the Production IG offices that fateful day in 1996, when Panzer Dragoon was greenlit. ![]()
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